


Vision

by raisedinthunder



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [12]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:00:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24336274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raisedinthunder/pseuds/raisedinthunder
Summary: Hange deals with the loss of her eye.
Relationships: Hange Zoë/Levi
Series: Tumblr Drabbles [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1541764
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	Vision

**Author's Note:**

> This was from LeviHan Week 2018, day 3 - vision

The aftermath was almost a blur. There would be barely any memory of it in the years to come. She moved on muscle memory alone. Going through the motions. Not really aware of what was going on. She couldn’t even remember sitting with the medic while they patched her up. Wrapping bandages around her. Telling her the details. How there would be no recovery from this one. The damage was severe. It was just a blur. 

It wasn’t until days later that it hit. Walking into her office the world around her seemed to shift. Moving in fast-forward bringing the reality back to her. Knocking the wind from her she staggered, crashing into the wall before her knees buckled slid to the floor. Shaking hands reached up to her face. Fingers grazing over the bandage that covered her left eye. Her whole world seemed to tilt on its axis. Suddenly aware of the loss. She pressed her back against the wall, pulling her knees up to her chest. Broken. 

How could she go on like this? How could she do any of it anymore?

Her vision forever distorted. Her chest felt tight. Panic rising through her as she clenched her shaking hands. Curled into fists so tight the knuckles shone white. Fear and anger and panic ripped through her.

Hange never cried. Her emotions ran wild but tears never shed. They did then. She felt them trickle down her cheeks. Cold and scarring. Leaving their tracks down her unblemished skin. A hollow feeling filled her stomach as she sat. Hands clenched to stop the shaking, tears falling in earnest, she stared forward into nothingness. 

Broken. 

-

The room was dark when he found her. The tears had stopped, only the cold dried tracks on her cheeks were any marker that they’d even been there. Her hands no longer clenched into tight fists hung limp as she rested her arms on her knees. The room was cold but she couldn’t feel it. A strange numbness having taken over. 

‘Hange?’

His voice seemed distant. Like an echo in a far flung corner. 

‘Hange?’

The voice was calling to her but she didn’t know how to answer. The numbness swallowing her. 

‘Hange can you hear me?’

She turned her head slightly as Levi crouched before her. Worry etched across his face. 

‘It’s over.’ She said at last. Voice rough and cracked. 

‘What’s over?’ He asked. 

‘This. Everything. Me.’ She said. 

The numbness seemed to be ebbing away leaving behind a cold hollowness. Levi was now sat in front of her. She couldn’t look at him. Her gaze settling somewhere just beyond him. Humanity’s Strongest. She huffed a laugh. He wasn’t broken. Not like her. He was whole and untarnished. She was damaged and broken.

‘Hange.’ Levi said again. His deep voice drawing her attention. Her gaze flicked back to him. That coil of fear and panic that had nestled so deep in her chest eased ever so slightly as she locked eyes with him. 

‘How am I supposed to do this anymore? How am I supposed to fight a war this this?’ She asked indicating her damaged eye.

Levi didn’t respond. 

‘I can’t. It’s over. I can’t fucking see. How am I supposed to know the enemy when I can’t fucking see?!’ Her voice was harsh and grew louder with each word. That anger bubbling to the surface. 

‘And to think he wanted me to lead.’ She scoffed dropping her head back against the wall. ‘He couldn’t have been more wrong. How could I lead when my vision is skewed? When I’m broken.’

Tears pricked at her eyes again but she rubbed at them. Refusing to let them fall again. 

‘You learn to deal with it.’ Levi said at last. Hange looked back at him. 

‘You’re kidding right?’ 

‘No. You adapt to this shit and you go on.’ He continued. ‘What you think just cos you got injured you’re out of the game? That’s not how this shit works and you know it. You don’t just give up.’

‘I can’t fucking see Levi.’ She snapped. 

‘Funny I thought it was only one eye that got hit. Lose the ability in your other one in the past few hours?’ He retorted. ‘I’m not gonna let you wallow in your own bullshit so you can cut the crap.’

Hange just gaped at him. His tone was harsh and unrelenting. 

‘You’re not broken and you’re not gonna let some minor injury stop you. That’s not who you are.’

‘Levi…’

‘Erwin rode out with one arm. You didn’t see it stopping him, why should you be any different?’

‘It’s hardly the same.’ Hange interjected. 

‘No. Fuck that. Never in the years I’ve known you have I seen you break like this and I’m not gonna let it happen now. You learn and you adapt. You go on. That’s what we do. You don’t let this stop you. You’re stronger than that. Hell, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.’

Hange could only listen as Levi spoke. His words cutting deep. He sounded so sure. So convinced of his own words. The hollowness that had been consuming her halted. Only to be filled with that fear. 

‘You keep fighting-‘

‘But I’m scared.’ She whispered, halting Levi’s word at last. His rough hands found hers, holding them tightly. 

‘We’re all scared. We don’t know what’s going to happen. Everyone I care about is dying around me. You don’t think I’m terrified? I almost lost you two days ago.’ His hands squeezed tighter as he said that last part. 

Fear was not something they showed. 

‘I’m scared every day of my damn life but I keep going. It’s what we do.’ He added with another squeeze to her hands.

‘What if can’t do it though? What if I can’t adapt?’ She asked. That was what really scared her. Not the pain or the loss but the inability to adapt and carry on. 

‘You will. You’re a stubborn ass, you’d never let it stop you.’ Levi told her. She laughed. It was a little hollow but it helped ease the tight coil sitting in her chest. 

‘Look, it’s not gonna be easy but you’ve already started. We’ll get through it together. We have to. Those brats are relying on us.’ Levi said. 

The fear eased a little but it still sat within her. It would for days to come. A constant in the back of her mind. Levi’s words resided within her as well though. ‘We keep going.’ It was was urged her on. What kept her going when the fear reared it’s ugly head. What made her laugh when Levi presented her with a leather eye patch, fixing it into place over her scarred eye. 

Her vision changed that day. And not just physically. The whole world was shifting. As they learned more, as they geared for a war they never expected to fight, it changed and so did she. She learned to adapt. Not just to her partial-sightedness but to her vision of the world. She adapt and she went on. It’s all she could do.

**Author's Note:**

> As always you can find me on tumblr [here](http://raisedinthunder.tumblr.com)


End file.
